I am passionate. There is no doubt about it.
I am passionate about my work, about my side projects, about my family, my friends and my boyfriend. I am passionate about my ideas and my imagination. I’m passionate about playful learning; but also about Disney and even my Baymax plushie. I could go on, but I think you get the point by now.
There are little situations where I put in less than 100%. Usually it is around 140% (pun intended). And I couldn’t see myself living without that drive. I can’t imagine a job I am not passionate about and dread being bored. It keeps me moving forward and pushing for a better me, doing a better job.
When I succeed in my plans and goals, this passion lifts me up high. Feelings of pride and euphoria are no strangers to me.
But then there are the pittfalls. The obvious one is the downfall when something fails. Or when something is just even a little bit off at work and you can’t seem to let it go. You can’t get it out of your head. Combine that with the harsh standards I tend to for myself and you have a dangerous cocktail. But it’s the less obvious one that is the scariest.
Giving more than all of yourself is quite hard on your mind and body over time. And because of the passion, you forget to take a breather. You love what you’re doing so much, you don’t want to put it aside. Onwards and upwards right?
Slowly, sneakily fatigue creeps up on you. Like there is a little leak in your energy reservoir. Until one day, you feel so tired, so drained, so exhausted you can’t even manage to do the dishes anymore.
My family is prone to burn-outs. Both my parents had one and I’m almost certain both me and my brother will encounter it in the future as well. It’s a scary prospect, but it is who we are.
We are passionate. We love our jobs. We give 140%. And we drain.